August 10th, 2003


doG Works in Mysterious Ways

Here's what occurred yesterday. Sorry for the long post. It was a busy day. It also proves to me that the Spirit Bear is looking out for me and trying to teach me something or help me grow.

I was really bummed out early yesterday as I already wrote. I had these feelings of lonliness and, for lack of a better word, selfishness. I know that is not the right word, but it was the first that popped into my head. It was that feeling that most distubed me. I KNEW in my head that it was bullshit, but there it was. Why was I thinking about such garbage? I tried to shake it, but I kept getting mad at myself for thinking so. This only sapped my energy even more, so I felt like doing nothing. Finally I kicked myself in the ass and went to Wildlife West.

When I got to the exit for the park, I noticed there was a fair going on at the local car dealership. Oh yeah. My dj friend said on the air that he was going to be doing a live remote. Jerk. He didn't ask me to fursuit. I get to the park and find out that the 3rd bluegrass festival of the year was going to be tomorrow. Crap! I missed it by one day! I supposed that I could come back the next day, but it's a 45 minute drive and I need some down time. Things hit bottom. Then they took off. They asked if I wanted to help out at the chuckwagon. Of course. I asked if I could fursuit. They got excited! YES! I then asked where Roger, the manager, was. He was at the fair manning a booth for the park. I hop on the free shuttle and get to the fair. I see Roger talking to my dj friend, doing a live remote. I can't let the dj know who I am because we have a relationship where he doesn't want to know me in RL. He has this image of me that he wants to keep; a crazy guy that loves music and dresses up like a bear. I ask Roger if I could fursuit. He says "Definitely!" On cue, the manager of the dealership walks by and Roger tells him about the bearsuit. The manager gets excited and says "YES!" So back on the shuttle and I suit up. Back on the shuttle and I start my routine. I go greet my dj buddy and he tells me he had thought about calling me, but thought that it was too far for me. right. I get pounced by a group of teenagers and then get good laughs as I carry them around the parking lot hanging off of me. It takes a lot to take down THIS bear! I experience my usual pleasures of posing for photos and getting and giving hugs. I love it when girls make their big burly boyfriends get a hug from the bear. After about 30 minutes or so, I start to overheat (the temp was near 90), so I head back to the park.

After de-suiting and cooling down, I head back to the fair to help out at the table. Roger and I start discussing bears. He can give me contacts with the local bear awareness group. There was a killing of a black bear last week that broke my heart. Some stupid-ass homeowner called to complain about a bear. Game and Fish showed up and blew the bear's brains out with a shotgun because it was a known "trouble" bear. The homeowner was sooooo upset. Good, bitch! I hope it haunts your dreams until the day you die. But I digress. Roger really wants to get a bear exhibit for the park. He figures he can build an inclosure for about $10,000. I told him if he was serious, I would pony up at least $1000.

At 4:00, I head back to the park to get ready for my next performance. While standing in the office, one of the YCC kids gets excited when she sees Roger and me. She knows this woman that owns a theater in ABQ. She wanted to know if the park could do something at the theater in November when this new movie opens. My jaw hits the floor! I know EXACTLY what she's talking about. "BROTHER BEAR"!!!! Roger points at me and goes, "There's your bear." So it looks like I'll get to do my movie premier thing after all!

I suit up again and run around the park from about 5:30 to 7:00 non-stop. A rain storm had cooled things down and there was a nice breeze blowing. The crowd was o.k., just under 300 people. There seemed to be a lot of fuddy-duddies though. *shrug* it was good for me.

To finish off the fine day, I was treated to a lovely lightning show while walking Anubis just after sunset. Big, beautiful bolts blasting down from the desert sky, far enough away that I didn't have to worry about dying. Anubis still was not happy with it.

And that was the day. I purged my mind of negativity and carried on. I received great rewards and blessings from the spirits. I shall count them and consider myself very fortunate.