September 11th, 2003


Bad Bear! No Booze!

I finally broke out of my funk. I replaced one bad feeling with another. I once again took refuge in the bottle. Unlike Warren Zevon (rock on in that great gig in the sky!) who would rather feel bad than not feel anything at all, I prefer to numb myself to any mental pain. My spirits were buoyed by chatting with furiends online, but there was also a sense of emptiness, so I continued to drink as I chatted. I crossed that critical point sometime around 8:00. That's about the time I have no recollection of who the hell I was chatting with. *sigh* You have no idea how bad that makes me feel. That's one of the reasons I don't smoke dope. I hate that feeling of losing control. Thank doG for Yahoo archive. I was able to re-read some of the shit I wrote last night. Fortunately, I'm a stupid/loving drunk. I don't say bad or mean things. i just fall over folks and say, "I love ya man!" I must say that I did have a quite lucid chat with lonefoxx. I apologize to dexter_fox whom I must have drooled all over while going, "I LOVE YA MAN!". I also had a great TS session with another fur. I guess alcohol doesn't effect performance in cyberspace *LOL*. Note to albear don't tweak a drunk bear! You should know better. It makes me a sad bear.

This morning when I was reading my drivel, I was pounced by an early rising berin. That got my day off to a wonderfully happy start.

And now I'm off to the State Fair to man the water conservation booth.

If I'm chatting with any of you tonight, beat me up if I start drinking in excess. I have to cut this shit out. I think I'm doing it because there's cheap beer in the house. Once that's gone, the temptation will be diminished. *hugs*
  • Current Music
    "Alison Road"---Gin Blossoms