October 3rd, 2003


"Desperate, But Not Serious"

--Adam Ant

As I prepare for this weekend's furmeet, I have a nagging little thought in the back of my head. It's somewhat similar to what berin was feeling in his (locked) post today. Are the actions I'm taking to make and keep friends coming purely from my heart and are they perceived that way, or am I coming across as a desperate loser doing anything to make friends. The image I have is the really geeky kid that will buy everyone candy just so that they'll let him hang around with them. I'm always making suggestions to the local furry group to get out and do stuff. When does the line get crossed between gregarious, fun-loving bear to desperate, loser bear. Is it an obvious thing like I start calling folks several times a day, or is it more subtle? I can't see people rolling their eyes as yet another post from me pops up on the NM_Furry list. Or am I being hypercritical of myself and I'm actually doing something good for the community by showing it's possible to get out of your den and enjoy yourself? Or perhaps others were already having a good time and you sure as hell don't need me around to continue having one. I just had the vision of the little guys having a battle on my shoulder. Self-doubt v. Ego. Live on pay-per-view! The battle for Sabot's mental health! The grudge match continues!

I could have also gone into the whole yiffy aspect to this same issue, but I thought I should leave that out because it gets way too personal. Perhaps in a one-on-one discussion after a few drinks.
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