May 14th, 2019

Drive

Almost a Shitshow

I'll be making my annual roadtrip to visit Mom next week. I noticed that my driver's license was about to expire, so I made the trek to the MVD to get it renewed. I would have had to have done it soon anyway since our state's licenses are not "Real ID" compliant meaning next year you couldn't use it to board a plane. We have lots of "Express" offices around town that will process the paperwork for a fee. It just seems stupid to pay someone $20 to process a $34 license. So I decided to try my luck at the State office. There were no cute sloths working there but the line sure moved like it. It took me just under an hour to get called. I had all sorts of ID with me; birth certificate, SS card, passport, and of course old license. So I shit a brick when she said I also needed proof of address like a utility bill or some other official mail. Shit! I was going to have to come back. But wait! I could pull up bank statements online! That worked. *phew* So she processed my paperwork and sent me to another clerk. Shit. So I wait another 15 minutes. Finally I get my paperwork processed and my picture taken. All that remains is the eye test. I look into the little box and I can't see shit. My eyes just refuse to focus. I read line 1. Wrong. I read line 2. Wrong. Shit! I'm not going to pass! The clerk gets distracted and starts talking with a co-worker. I pull my head back a little bit to see if I can finally get the letters to focus. Suddenly line 5 pops into clarity. I quickly ramble off the letters and she says, "OK. You pass." I think it's time for a visit to the eye doctor when I get back. I know my eyes are starting to go to shit, but this was ridiculous. Of course I'm thinking the entire time, "No! I don't want to come back to this ring of hell again!" At least wear sloth fursuits.