November 25th, 2020


Covid Diaries - Trip Recap

I got home on Monday. I said "goodbye" to Mom around noon, and it was a heartbreaking event. Sometimes she gets very maudlin, but there is some reality to the fact when she says, "Who knows> This might be the last time I see you." When you're 94 and all you see are friends and family dying around you, you know your time may be short. But still, it's nothing you want to hear.

The whole trip was extremely stressful. I was suffering from anxiety most of the time I was there. Of course the biggest worry was if I had fucked up by visiting her and exposed her to the virus. That's all I heard on the news while I was there. "DON'T VISIT YOUR RELATIVES!!!" "YOU'RE GOING TO KILL GRANDMA!" "DON'T VISIT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!" And yet here I was. For the most part I was quarantined. I figure I was there for 228 hours and I probably spent 220 of them at home, just going to the store for food. I debated for the longest time whether I should wear a mask in the house. I decided against it, but did my best to keep Mom at a distance. Of course that went out the window one day when she had a bout of loneliness and hugged me out of the blue. I flipped my shit one day when her caregiver came over for her bi-weekly visit and walked in the door without her mask. When I called her out on it, she got passive-aggressive with me which immediately earned her a call to her supervisor. It seemed like I was always on-edge dealing with the stress of the situation.

I was especially worried about my flight home since the situation just seemed to be getting worse and worse as the lockdowns got more and more severe. All of the dire warnings about packed airports and airplanes made me paranoid. I guess the media is doing their jobe correctly! Fortunately Midway was not that crowded. I sailed through check-in and TSA. The waiting area was a bit of a shitshow, but not terrible. The plane was only at about 30% capacity which was a blessing. When I arrived at the ABQ, the terminal looked like it had when we got home from flights arriving around midnight. Here it was about 5 o'clock, and it was like a ghost town. I was so glad to get back to my own house, my Kitty, and my kitties. I don't care if I have to hunker down for 2 weeks. It will be my pleasure.