Sabot L'ours (sabotlours) wrote,
Sabot L'ours

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Role reversal

In any relationship there is a coming to terms with each other's quirks and mannerisms. There has to be growth in the relationship for it to work. One of the sticking points between Kitty and I has been division of labor. Under that heading was the issue of cooking. Perhaps one of the reasons Kitty found me attractive was because I like to cook and I do it well. I like to try new things and I like to cook up a variety of dishes. It got to a point, however, when I felt that the burden was falling on me a bit too much. I started getting infuriated when I came home from an 8-hour day and I heard that question, "What's for dinner?" The translation of that question was, "What are you making us for dinner?" Why should it be up to me to provide dinner every day? I would then spend an hour preparing something while she sat on her ass reading LJ or watching some lame show on t.v. I finally snapped.

On Sunday I told Kitty that I would not be cooking at all during the week. It would be up to her to cook all of the dinners for the week. I think she was taken a bit aback by the statement, but she also saw it as a challenge. So far so good! On Monday she helped Ari make a tasty stir fry, yesterday she made a yummy chicken casserole, and tonight she will be making a nice sweet and sour pork. Sometimes she asks for my help and I reluctantly agree. I want her to do this all herself. It will give her a better idea for how I feel when I'm cooking and she's off doing something fun. We'll eventually come to a point where we are both working together to get things done. Of course our tiny kitchen doesn't help matters. We're almost there. It's all a good thing. If you're going to try to make that final commitment to be with someone, you had better have most of the bumps and dips smoothed over to make it work. Oh yeah. I still love my Kitty. *smiles*
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