Somebody made brownies and one looked exactly like a turd. There were comments like, "Oooo! It looks like Santa Bear left us a present!" One of my co-workers eventually ate it. I made a comment about how this was turning into "Pink Flamingos." Only one of the younger employees caught the reference and *LOL'd*
During the potluck lunch I went to get seconds. I told a co-worker to save my place at the table. I even left all of my utensils, napkin, and drink at the place. When I returned the assistant office manager had taken my spot along with our deputy commissioner (think assistant CEO of the company) who happened to be here for a visit. I was pissed! Obviously you don't tell the 2nd in command to fuck off, so I found another seat. I got my revenge, however, when we played "Dirty Santa" and I yoinked our manager's bottle of wine. Mwaa haa haa!