Sabot L'ours (sabotlours) wrote,
Sabot L'ours

Panic Attack

On rare occasions I experience great anxiety during the middle of the night. My mind becomes flooded with thoughts that just won't quit. I will lie awake for an hour or 2 with thoughts racing through my head with no off switch. Finally there will be a break where I can concentrate on something peaceful and/or relaxing. I'll soon be able to drift back to sleep.

Yesterday I was awaken by Kitty having a coughing fit. It sounded like she was coughing up a lung. Realizing that I couldn't get back to sleep, I headed off to the computer. I decided to check on the river that I regulate to see how it was reacting to the unusually hot weather we had been having. My jaw hit the floor when I saw that it was swollen by rapidly melting snow. It had shot up far above what I had thought it would. To make matters worse, the reservoir into which it flows had just hit the full point. I decided to head back to bed, but the damage had already been done. For the next 2 hours my brain was a beehive of images of breaking dams, a flooded monastery (the only inhabited structure below the dam), Congressional hearings of angry senators asking why I didn't do something sooner, and just a basic knowledge that I had been a failure especially since I had been somewhat cocky as of late in saying that I knew what I was doing and that people should trust my expertise.

I finally managed to drift back to sleep, but even that was punctuated by a dream about being killed in an earthquake/terrorist attack at a BART station. Real nice, huh?

This morning things are a little tense in the office. We pretty much decided to just keep going up with our releases and screw the monks. There probably wouldn't be any damage to structures, but their land, including their gardens, could get flooded. I just saw the forecast for flows for the next few months, and it seems incredibly high. I'm not sure where all of this water is coming from, but we really don't have any place to put it. All indications were pointing to us hitting the peak a few days ago. Now it looks like the peak may still be a few days away. There is no break in temperatures forecast, so I'm still shitting a brick. I need the damn river to peak!

All in all my plan was based on good hydrology. Everything was going incredibly smoothly as of a few days ago. I did tend to take the conservative approach in predicting the lower side of the runoff forecast. That was based mainly on a hunch, but my counterpart at the irrigation district was even more conservative than that. I guess I should have been a little more proactive based on the hot weather. *shrugs* We shall see. Hindsight is always 20/20.
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