Sabot L'ours (sabotlours) wrote,
Sabot L'ours


I'm having yet another conflict on conscience. I have been thinking about the good deeds I have been doing lately in different aspects of my life. Whether it's volunteering, lending an ear or a shoulder, advancing the furry cause, etc. I do these things because it gives me a good feeling, but I also have self interests such as the desire to meet friends and the unending quest to find a mate. So when good things happen to all around me as a result of my actions, shouldn't that be enough for me? It does give me a warm feeling, but there is the ever-present, nagging, emptiness. I'm starting to look at things like this in a karmic sense, all of my good deeds will lead to some sort of reward in this life or the next. Well frankly, screw the next life. Can I redeem some of my karmic points/coupons for a little satisfaction in this life? And does my thinking this way make my actions less/non altruistic? Or maybe I'm whining again and overlooking the other blessings that are showered on me. Maybe I'm just a few frequent karma miles away from total happiness. Then again I might be destined to forever live in my mountaintop cave as a hermit where I dispense wisdom and good vibrations to the world.
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