Sabot L'ours (sabotlours) wrote,
Sabot L'ours

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I told my coon that I would be making a post that would seem to be that I was getting cold feet about his moving in next week, but it is actually just me thinking aloud.

I really want my relationship with overzen to work. We chat almost every day. We have been together on several occasions. We have deep feelings for each other and want to be with each other. Is that enough? I have been trying to get to the very nature of love. What brings 2 people together? I know there is no set series of steps that must be followed for 2 people to be officially declared "in love," but I guess I want to be able to say in my own mind that, yes, what this is is officially "LOVE." This is tough since each person has their own definition or experience of what love is or should be. Since love is based purely on emotion, it would be a near impossibility to truly get a person's definition of love without being able to climb into that person's brain. Is it good enough to say, " I can't explain it. It just is."

I am always worried that we are rushing things. We met just this past January at FC, and here we are moving in together. Is this "normal?" I think most of us realize that long-distance relationships either don't work or are extremely tough to maintain. While the Internet is a wonderful tool to start relationships, the usual inherent distance then makes fostering that relationship rather difficult. Normally 2 people get together and go out on dates. Their compatibility grows, and they eventually move in together. I have had essentially only 3 "dates" with zen, and I find that we are extremely compatible. But is 3 enough? Well, what constitutes a "date." When 2 people go out on a date, what is the primary function. Is it the dinner or the movie that is the most important aspect? No. It is the communication that takes place. It's the discussing of current life. It's the sharing of stories. It's the exchange of ideas. Well, is that not what is done in chats, LJ, email, or phone calls? So in a sense, I go out on a date almost every night with zen. We chat for hours about all manner of things. And there is something there between the lines of text that makes me want to be with him in a relationship that goes beyond friendship and into the realms of love.

I should add a caveat to what I just wrote. I don't think a relationship can be developed online alone. There needs to be face to face and physical contact in a relationship for it to be truly determined that love exists. On a few occasions I have met someone online whom I truly enjoyed chatting with and longed for a physical relationship, but when the opportunity arose to meet that person FTF, there was no chemistry. Likewise I have met someone IRL whom after I stated chatting with for a period of time came across as someone with which I shared little interest.

I guess sometimes I think too much. I should turn my brain off for awhile and listen to my heart. It has worked for billions of people for thousands of years.
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